It has come to my attention that most people seek their own happiness within other people. I am guilty of it, and at some point in everyone’s lives, I think everyone is guilty of it. This saddens me greatly.
Personally, I have weird feelings on happiness. Sometimes, I feel that happiness isn’t something you achieve, but it’s a life style.
Happiness, to me, is deciding to appreciate the small things, even when everything else seems to be falling apart. And when even the small things seem to be catastrophic and awful, choosing to laugh about them. So far, my college career has involved me making fun of all of the silly things that I do, and enjoying the laughter and comfort of others from my dumb-doings. Happiness is a very forced decision. I believe an individual has to want it deeply. I believe it takes great focus and motivation, especially for those who are convinced that the world is a terrible place (which, it’s hard not to be convinced of that, nowadays).
Happiness is not easy, by all means.
Only you know what makes you happy. Only you know everything that makes you shine on the inside. And only you can make things happen for you. As soon as you assign your happiness to someone else, you are allowing yourself to essentially be a slave to that person. You are the driver on your own road of life! Take the wheel!
I also feel that you cannot feel happiness if you do not feel the full spectrum of feelings. I discovered this when I was medicated for anxiety for many years. I must’ve tried somewhere near twenty different psychological drugs to numb my anxiety. They tried anti-depressants, anti-anxieties, and bipolar medication when I only had two anxiety disorder diagnosis. These medications made me into a person I was not (and never would be). I would either feel everything at once, or nothing at all on these medications. It was this experience that made me hate any and all altering substances (aside from caffeine, God bless). It was then I knew that the best way to get better, and the only way to feel happiness for me, was to deal with everything as it came in the most natural way. The unmedicated way.
In my experience, I find that denying yourself of negative feelings is also denying yourself of the equal and opposite feelings you could be experiencing.
It is important to take note of the things in life that make you happy. One time, when I was not doing well emotionally, I made a list of the things that made me happy. Just to remind myself that there are things that make me feel good on the inside, and I need to focus on those things. Sunrises, sunsets, coffee, pizza, piano, etc. etc. It is important to feel emotions, and to remember that nothing is permanent (both good and bad) and to appreciate what you can. A person can make you happy, but they do not, and should not, be the owner of your happiness.